Funeral Planning And Mistakes

Some very good considerations about how the world views funerals, what a small congregation can expect of relatives who are not members, and ways to deal with the problems that might come up.

How to Avoid Funeral Faux Pas – Pr. Hans Fiene, 1/28/15

Pr. Hans Fiene of River of Life Lutheran-Channahon, IL

Podcast: Download (Duration: 27:57 — 11.4MB)

Howard Flateland Funeral Sermon

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Howard Flateland

Funeral Sermon

January 4, 2010

Dearly beloved in Christ, the text that we have before us today at this service in memory of Howard, but also looking forward to his resurrection comes to us from the book of Job in the Old Testament. In chapter 19 we read verses 23 to 27.

Job had several friends trying to come to him and to console him. The problem was Job became sick, and he had lost most of his family. And his friends thought that Job had committed a particular sin to bring down God's wrath upon him.

But listen to Job's confession:

23 “Oh, that my words were written!
      Oh, that they were inscribed in a book!

 24 That they were engraved on a rock
      With an iron pen and lead, forever!

 25 For I know that my Redeemer lives,
      And He shall stand at last on the earth;

 26 And after my skin is destroyed, this I know,
      That in my flesh I shall see God,

 27 Whom I shall see for myself,
      And my eyes shall behold, and not another. 
      How my heart yearns within me!

We just sang the hymn, only a few verses of the hymn, “I know that my Redeemer Lives!” It's an Easter hymn. And here we are in the season of Christmas, and we've just celebrated the birth of Jesus Christ into this world. Now, for many people Christmas is nothing more than a time for getting families together.

Well, all of you who know Howard and Sylvia's family know that this has been a very intense time of gathering together. Gathering together not knowing whether this day or the next day would be the last for Howard: Having hope! Seeing how well Howard was taking what was going on. His wonderful attitude through all of this tragedy. His willingness to just put his hands around his children and grandchildren, and his loving wife. To let them know that he was comforting them.

He knew that this kind of thing could happen. It's in the family's history: a massive stroke, a little while of lingering and then death.

But he faced it without fear. And it's not because it's not a scary thing. It is a scary thing. It's a scary thing for any of us to be incapacitated, to have somebody else change our pants. It's humiliating. It's embarrassing. And some of us may have too much pride. And never suffer such an indignity, and forget that God will use even these hard times.

He doesn't cause these bad things to happen. But He will use these hard times to show us where we have idols, and where we worship falsely—so that we can learn to love God and each other rightly; to drive away all the different things that clutter our lives; that we used to think are important; to learn to focus on what is important.

Because the end result of the fact that we are sinners is right here [point to the coffin holding Howard's dead body]. Our physical death.

And Howard wasn't selected out for physical punishment any more than Job was selected out for special punishment. We deserve far worse because we day-by-day rejectGod's Word and His Command. That we tread upon His grace every day.

Even as we come through this celebration of Christmas; singing those Christmas carols; acknowledging Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior of all—hurting and harming our families—thinking of only ourselves.

But Howard is now celebrating his first Christmas with our Savior. The celebration, as I mentioned last night at the visitation, the celebration is not complete right now. None of those who have gone before us, their celebration is not complete, because they wait for one thing that we all wait for. And that is Christ's coming again at the end of the world. Where He will take this body [point to Howard]. And He will make it perfect. He will raise it from the grave. And He will bring Howard before the throne of God Himself. And He will say, “Well done thou good and faithful servant.”

And Howard will confess that he never saw Jesus hungry, he never helped Him, he never fed Him. Because, in truth, none of us has ever done what we should for God, and Howard knows that. And He knew that.

But he was also washed in the Blood of Christ; liberated from the actual guilt of his sin. Because his Savior loved him enough to come into this world to give His life for Howard, for you; for Sylvia; for you kids. For all of us.

That's why we tie together Easter and Christmas here at this service. Because Christmas is all about the Crucifixion and the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. This little child didn't come to be a cute thing to be put upon a fireplace mantle at every Christmas.

He came to die a bloody, brutal death. So that we would not have to suffer. So that we would have the resurrection.

I know that my Redeemer lives. And one day, even though worms shall eat this flesh; I will stand, I and not another, will see my Lord when He comes again. We confess with Job.

Saint Paul wrote in his first letter to the Thessalonians, in chapter four:

13 But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. 14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.
15 For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. 16 For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. 18 Therefore comfort one another with these words.

Says Saint Paul.

We will miss him, because he has been such a big part of our lives. And there is nothing that is going to fill that gap. Because Howard himself will fill that gap when he is raised from the dead.

We don't have to try to stuff ourselves with activities. We don't have to try to hide the grief, to try to get rid of the grief. Because Howard himself will come back at that last day; and fill the hole that's there now.

We can remember him; both the good and the bad. We can know and we can learn from what was wrong and what was right.

And we can build on this confidence: That just as Christ has forgiven him, He also forgives us. And He enables us to forgive each other—from all of the things that have affected us through our lives: especially when we have hurt each other and sinned against each other.

So that we too, will rise again in that day; cleanse by the forgiveness of Jesus Christ. And we will live forever.

Amen.

Christian Songs Latin and German, For Use at Funerals

There has always been pressure from the laity to incorporate non-Christian and poorly written so-called "Christian" songs into the funeral service. What follows is Martin Luther's letter of 1542 on the subject. This version is from pages 287-92 of the Works of Martin Luther, vol 6, Muhlenberg Press, Philadelphia, 1932. The translation is by P.Z. Strodach.

Christian Songs Latin and German, For Use at Funerals
D. Martinus Luther
Wittenberg, Anno 1542
Printed by Joseph Klug

To the Christian Reader. D. Mart. Luther.
Christian Songs, Latin and German, for use at Funerals.
1542

St. paul writes to those at Thessalonica [I Thess. 4:13], that they should not sorrow over the dead as others who have no hope, but that they should comfort themselves with God's Word, as those who possess sure hope of eternal life and the resurrection of the dead. For it is no wonder that those who have no hope grieve; nor can they be blamed for this. Since they are beyond the pale of the faith in Christ they either must cherish this tempopral life alone and love it and be unwilling to lose it, or store up for themselves, after this life, eternal death and the wrath of God in hell, and go there unwillingly. But we Christians, who have been redeemed from all this through the precious blood of God's [p. 288] Son, should train and accustom ourselves in faith to despise death and regard it as a deep, strong, sweet sleep; to consider the coffin as nothing other than our Lord Jesus' bosom or paradise, the grave as nothing other than a soft couch of ease or rest. As verily, before God, it truly is just this; for he testifies, John 11:21: Lazarus, our friend sleeps; Matthew 9:24: The maiden is not dead, she sleeps. Thus, too, St. Paul, in I Corinthians 15, removes from sight all hateful aspects of death as related to our mortal body and brings forward nothing but charming and joyful aspects of the promised life. He says there [vv. 42ff]: It is sown in corruption and will rise in incorruption; it is sown in dishonor (that is, a hateful, shameful form) and will rise in glory; it is sown in weakness and will rise in strength; it is sown a natural body and will rise a spiritual body.

Accordingly we have driven the pestilential abominations from our churches, such as vigils, masses for the dead, processions, purgatory, and all other mockery and hocus pocus on behalf of the dead. We have abolished all these and have cleaned them out thoroughly and do not want our churches to be houses of wailing and places of mourning any longer, but koemiteria, as the old fathers were wont to call them, that is, dormitories and resting places. Nor do we sing any funeral hymns or doleful songs over our dead at th graves, but comforting hymns, of the forgiveness of sins, of rest, of sleep, of life, and of the resurrection of Christians who have died, in order that our faith may be strengthened and the people may be moved to proper devotion.

For it is also meet and right that one conduct and carry out the burials decently and fittingly in praise and honor of that joyful article of our faith, namely that of the resurrection of the dead, and in defiance and contempt of that dreadful enemy, death, who incessantly devours us so shamefully in all manner of terrible and ghastly forms and ways. Thus, we read the holy patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, etc., conducted their burials with much splendor and left very explicit directions concerning them. Later the kings of Judah made great show and pomp over the dead, [p. 289] accompanying this with costly incense composed of all kinds of goodly, precious herbs; all of this was done to smother stinking, shameful death and to praise and confess the resurrection of the dead, so that the weak in faith and the sorrowful might be comforted thereby. Hereto, also, belong the customs which the Christians practiced heretofor and which they continue to practice in connection wit hthe dead and their graves, namely that they are carried forth in splendor, decked beautifully, sung over, and adorned with grave markers. All is to be done for the sake of this article of the resurrection to the end that it be founded in us firmly, for it is our final, blessed, eternal comfort and joy against death, hell, devil and all sorrow.

As a good example to serve to this end we have hosen fine musical settings or songs which are used in the papacy at vigils, masses for the dead, and funerals. Some of these we have had printed in this little book, and purpose in the future to choose more of them, -or whoever is better able than we, can;-but we have substituted other texts to these settings in order to honor our article concerning the resurrection and not to honor purgatory with its torment and satisfaction, on account o which their dead can neither sleep nor rest. The songs and the notes are precious; it would be a shame and a loss were they to disappear; but the texts or words are unchristian, unfit and absurd; these should perish. In the same way they far outstrip us in all other directions: the have the most beautiful services, beautiful, splendid cathedrals and cloisters, but the preaching and the teaching which they practice in these in grater part serve the devil and blaspheme God. For he is the world's prince an god, therefore he must have the most elegant, the best and the most beautiful. They also possess costly, golden and silver monstrances and pictures, embellished with rich ornaments and precious stones, but within are dead bones, quite as probably from the cadavers of the flaying-ground as from other places. They have costly vestments, chasubles, palliums, copes, capes, mitres, but who is under these or clothed [p.290] in these? Lazy bellies, evil wolves, godless hogs, who persecute and blaspheme God's Word.

And indeed they also possess many admirable, beautiful musical compositions or songs, especially in the cathedral and parish churches, but they have "beautified" them with many obscene, idolatrous, superstitious texts. Therefore, we have removed such idolatrous, dead and dumb texts, separating them from the noble music, and in their stead we have set the livin, holy word of God, to sing, to praise, to glorify with the same, so that this beautiful ornament, music, may, in proper use, serve her dear Creator and His Christians so that He be praised and honored thereby, but we, through the Holy Word united with sweet song, may be incited and confirmed and strengthened in faith
. To this help us God and Father together with the Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.

But it is not our opinion or intention that these precise notes must be sung, just as they are, in all churches; let every church use its notes according to its own book and usage. For I myself do not hear gladly when the notes of a responsory or song have been changed and it is sung among us in a different way from that to which I was accustomed in my youth.

If it is desired to honor the graves in additional ways, it would be fitting to carve or write (paint) good epitaphs on the walls (when there are such) or verses from Holy Scripture, so that they may be present before the eyes of those who go to the funeral or to the church-yard; namely these or the like:

• He has fallen asleep with his fathers and has been gathered to his people.
• I know that my redeemer lives, and he will waken me out of the earth and I will go about in my body and in my flesh I will see God. [Job 19:25f]
• I laid down and slept and awakened, for the Lord kept me. [Ps. 3:5]
• I lay me down and sleep wholly in peace. [Ps. 4:8]
• I will behold thy countenance in righteousness; I will be satisfied when I awake in thy likeness. [Ps. 17:15] [p. 291]
• God will redeem my soul from the power of hell, because he has accepted me. [Ps. 49:15]
• The death of his holy ones is held precious before the Lord. [Ps. 116:15]
• The Lord will remove in this mountain the covering with which al peoples are covered, and the veil (lid) with which all holy ones are shrouded; for he will devour death eternally. [Is. 25:7f]
• The dead shall live and rise with the body. Awake and sing ye who lie uner the earth, for thy dew is the dew of the green field. [Is. 26:19]
• Enter, O my people, into thy chamber and close the door after thee; hide thyself a small moment until the wrath be passed over. [Is 26:20]
• The righteous will be snatched away from the calamity, and they who have walked uprightly shall enter into peace and rest in their chambers.[Is. 57:1-2]
• Thus saith the Lord: Behold, I will open your graves, and fetch you, O my people, out of the same. [Ez. 37:12]
• Many who lie sleeping under the earth will awake, some to everlasting life, some to everlasting dishonor and shame. [Dan 12:2]
• I will redeem them from hell and rescue them from death; O death, i will be a poison to you; O hell, I will be a pestilence to you. [Hos. 13:14]
• I am the God of Abraham and the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob. But God is not a God of the dead but of the living. [Ex. 3:6; Matt. 22:32]
• this is the will of the Father, who hath sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but that i shall raise it up at the last day. [Jn. 6:39]
• I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes on me, that one shall live, even though he should die forthwith. and he who lives and believes on me, that one will never die. [Jn 11:25f]
• No one lives to himself and no one dies to himself. if we live, then we live unto the Lord; i we die, then we die unto the Lord. Whether we live or die, we are the Lord's. For to this end Christ also died and rose and became alive again, so that he might become lord over he dead and the living. [Rom. 14:7-9] [p. 292]
• If we hope in Christ only in this life, then we are the most miserable among all people. [I Cor. 15:19]
• As in Adam they all die, thus, too, in Christ they all will be made living. [I Cor. 15:22]
• death is swallowed up in the victory. Death, where is thy sting? Hell, where is thy victory? But the sting of death is sin, but the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God who has given us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. [ I Cor. 15:54-57]
• Christ is my life, and death is my prize. [Phil. 1:21]
• If we believe that Jesus died and rose again, so shall God also lead with him those who have fallen asleep through Jesus. [I th. 4:14]

Such verses and inscriptions will ornament the church-yard better than other worldly symbols, -shield, helmet, etc.

If any one were able and had the desire to put such verses into good rhymes, this would be an advantage: they would be remembered more easily and read more gladly. For rhyme or verse make ecellent sentences or proverbs, more gladly used than other smooth-flowing words.

[Then follow two versifications of S.t Luke 2, the Nunc Dimittis, a versifiction of St. John 11: The Resurrection and the Life; and a versification of Job 19.]

The German songs: Mit Fried und Freud, Wir glauben all an einen, Nu bitten wir den heiligen, Nu laszt uns den Leib, etc., may be sung one after the other as one returns homeward from the burial; in the same way one may use the Latin songs: Jam moesta quiesce, Si enim credimus, Corpora sanctorum, In pace summus, etc.

---end of article.

The hymns listed in the last paragraph are:
Mit Fried und Freud, ELH 48 "In Peace and Joy I Now Depart"
Wir glauben all an einen, ELH 38 "We All Believe in One True God"
Nu bitten wir den heiligen, ELH 33 "We Now Implore God the Holy Ghost"
Nu laszt uns den Leib, TLH 596 "This Body in the Grave We Lay"
Jam moesta quiesce, "Despair not, O heart, in thy sorrow"
Si enim credimus, "For If We Believe"
Corpora sanctorum, "The Bodies of the Saints"
In pace summus, "We are in Peace"